Susan's Musings

Inspiration and Memories of the Boston Marathon

I just got back from watching the Boston Marathon.

Now mind you I'm not a runner nor do I have any interest in becoming one. I can't run to the end of the block.

But...I have been going to the Marathon since I was 2 years old, sitting on my dad's shoulders. He was a runner in college (Syracuse) so he took a special interest in running although I have to say I never saw him run and he never ran the Boston Marathon or any other as far as I know. He was a sprinter not a long distance runner. And by the time I came along, running was a thing of the past except on Marathon Day.

For most of my life, I have lived within walking distance of the route, somewhere near the halfway point, so I have missed very few--just when I was living in New Orleans and a year or two when I was working retail. And for most of my life, I have watched from the same street corners where we'd catch up with family friends (and one of my mother's high school boyfriends) who also watched from the same corner. The old timers are all gone, my dad along with the rest in the past couple of years. Strange not having them there.

Johnny Kelley is gone too. He died last fall at age 97. He won 2 marathons back in 1935 and 1945 and ran his last in 1992 when he was 84 years old. After that he got to ride the course as Grand Marshall.

Every year I am so inspired by the commitment these runners make. So many of them only running to meet a challenge set for themselves. It is all about personal bests. If I were to walk down to the route now at 5 pm, 5 hours after the start, I would find men and women walking the route, amid the Belmont Springs and Gatoraide cups, still headed for the finish line. Many of them will make it.

The most inspirational are the ones who run for love. Team Hoyt is such a team. Dick Hoyt pushes his son, Rick, who has cerebral palsy. This year was their 24th running. They missed one year after Dick had a heart attack but they are back heading through town 10-15 minutes after the lead men come through. It's quite remarkable. Check out their website at teamhoyt.com

This year, there was a man with a prosthetic leg. Everyone just stopped and clapped for a very long time. And every year there are the folks in wheelchairs.

The crowds love them all--clapping and callling out words of encouragement. The runners say that's what keeps them going.

So this year as always I went to support the runners, to be inspired by them and to remember the tradition I had with my dad.

Next year when I'm living in Rhode Island, I will come back for the Marathon.

Reflections

I hoped that after this election was over, this blog would return to business, creativity and coaching. Alas, we have only just begun.

I have needed a few days to absorb the results of this election. I am feeling a bit blindsided, disoriented and disappointed. I am not angry or hurt or disillusioned just numb. Shock does that. Maybe that's what I am experiencing--shock!. Not shock as in surprised although I did expect to win, but shock as in traumatized, the shock that follows the death of a loved one, the shock that follows traumatic injury. That is what it feels like. I feel numb and the reality of what has happened has not sunk in emotionally while my thoughts are tending to be obsessive and disjointed.

I am watching and reading everything anyone has to say with morbid curiosity. A huge part of me wants to retreat, turn off C-Span, CNN and PBS not to mention the New York Times, and get on with my life and the rest of me is well aware that I will do none of that. The ultimate result is that I will continue to participate in grassroots organizing and already have my sights set on the Congressional elections in 2006.

But politics are only a small piece of what needs to be happening. Politics is just the current stage for a deep social, cultural and religious divide that is separating the people of this country. There is something much more profound and disturbing going on than George Bush winning reelection. That is just a symptom. There is something much more fundamental going on.

I am not exactly sure what that is. Is it the religious right? Is it fear? Is it lack of self awareness? Is it lack of identity? Is it moral values? Or is it lack of vision? Is it that we have lost sight of the values that this country was founded on--freedom and justice for all?

Lots of ideas are being bandied about in the press but the truth of the matter is that we don't really know and we desperately need to figure it out. We need to understand the root cause of why over half of this country would demean honesty and integrity while rewarding arrogant self interest.

So for the next bit of time, I personally need to reflect on this question. I would suggest that we all take a dispassionate and unbiased look at what is really going on in this country. At this point it is almost impossible not to take sides but to the extent of our ability to do so we need to study and seek to understand. Then we will know what actions to take and where our efforts can be used to greatest effect.

Happy Voting Day!

PLEASE VOTE!!!

There are tears in my eyes every time I vote. I can't help thinking about the fact that women have only had the vote for 84 years, less than a century. We got the vote the year my mother was born in 1920. That's only a generation ago. And I think about people all over the world who have fought and died for this right to vote, how people have walked for days and waited in long, long lines to cast a vote. I think about the Civil Rights Movement getting the disenfranchised African-Americans registered in the South in 1963. That was within my lifetime and people died.

We will see at the end of the day but all reports suggest that Americans have gotten the message. I have heard estimates that as many as 70% of the electorate will vote. Was it Florida in 2000? The intense registration drives and get out the vote efforts? Probably all of that but for whatever reason, we are involved again and that can only be good for our democracy.

I am including this link to Paul Krugman's editorial because it's good and because he gets choked up too when he goes to the polls. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/02/opinion/02krugman.html?th.

Want to help out today. Go to http://votercall.org to call voters to remind them to vote and see if they need any help getting there.

My Report from the Campaign Front

I have been spending most of my time this past week calling folks in battleground states. This was to a list of self identified Kerry-Edwards supporters asking them to participate in Get Out The Vote efforts in their states.

It has been an interesting experience for someone who basically doesn't like that kind of thing. As early as last fall, I knew I had to find a way to participate in a way that was in line with my integrity. In January I began writing letters for Howard Dean and one woman in New Hampshire sent me a Kerry sticker in response. That sticker is now on my bumper.

When Howard Dean lost in the primaries, I had to reevaluate what to do. What was clear to me at that point was that Bush had to go no matter what so I had to support John Kerry but I really didn't start liking him until the Democratic Convention. Even after that there were times that I felt he was a rather lame candidate to quote Maureen Dowd of the the New York Times. But as this campaign has continued, I have gained respect for him not for what he's done in the past but what is in him to do in the future. The long and the short of it is that I think this man has the potential to become a great statesman. The presidency has a way of drawing out the character of the person holding that position. In Bush's case the demagog has emerged. In Kerry's case, I believe that we will see a kind of statesman like leadership that we haven't seen in many, many decades.

When I was still feeling lukewarm for Kerry, I decided that the most effective thing I could do would be to work on voter registration. To that end I sent forms and letters to unregistered women in battleground states. Most of my letters went to Pennsylvania. From all reports, this was a very successful effort.

As we have drawn closer to the election with voter registration deadlines passing in many states, I shifted my focus to the Phone Corp for Kerry. This is a group of 60,000 volunteers calling Kerry supporters to get them signed up for Get Out The Vote activities in their states. This has truly been the most interesting because in among all of the messages left, there have been some really interesting conversations. Here are just a few.

The woman in Arkansas who thought that the Red Sox winning the World Series was a good omen. We both knew we were being a bit superstitious but I shared her optimism. She was already a very active volunteer.

Then there was the woman in Florida who told me John Edwards had just been there and "he could bring his sweet, pretty face down there any time he liked." And she signed up for a phone bank.

And several people have made the comparison to Germany in the 1930's when Hitler was coming to power. Many people are hesitant to share that view but it is clearly shared by many Americans and has motivated many of them to get involved.

My personal favorite was the 16 year old I talked to in Florida. If he is at all representative of his generation there is reason for great hope in this country. We talked for about 20 minutes because he had a dilemma. It was a question of integrity for him--was it ok for him to volunteer when he is not yet eligible to vote? That he was even asking that question made me want to jump through the phone line and thump him on the back. Those are the kinds of question we should always be asking ourselves before we take action. In the end, he decided he did not want to canvas (my guess is that is because he looks his age) but that he would be willing to participate in a phone bank. He decided that this was a way to have his voice heard.

And then there were the folks who were just waiting to be asked. Happy to hear from me, they would say "Yes, when do you need me and where do I go?" Sometimes even saying yes before they asked what they would be doing. Thank you to all of them who said yes.

Of the hundreds of calls, there was only one really negative call. A mother who was clearly voting for Bush would not let me talk to her daughter who was clearly supporting Kerry. Shame on Mom!

Although taking time away from business to participate in this way is not my idea of a good time, I have found these phone calls encouraging. There are good people out there working for positive change in this beloved country of ours. All in all, making these calls to people all over the country has made me feel less alienated than I do when I look at polling maps and see that huge block of red states in the middle of the country.

I will be back to making calls this afternoon and tomorrow.

And one other thing--while calling on Saturday afternoon, a sense of deep calm came over me. I have been feeling very anxious about this election for weeks. Some nights I have had trouble sleeping but since Saturday, it has been incredible calm. I take that to mean that we are going to win. Today's polls are certainly confirming that, showing that if the vote were today Kerry would win with 298 electoral votes. I find that encouraging but also know that the polls do not tell the whole story so I will continue to make calls.

Catching Up!

The month of September is flying by and as usual it is much busier than I would like--mostly because I would rather be off camping this time of year.

My clients, too, are feeling the pull of commitments they might rather not have. Folks in the Creative Studios Program are losing their creative rhythm so much of the work in that group is figuring out how to restructure their lives so that the creative work gets done. The conclusion from last week's group was to focus on small acts of creativity like picking out your jewelry. That's a start but some big restructuring and recommiting to creative action is also needed.

Mostly I think that September is a time of transition and transitions are often difficult. The key is to keep sight of our real priorities. In that group it is about creating new work--performance pieces, music, and writing--and creating new markets and venues for that work.

As for me, I have been in a funk. My house fell through because the sellers decided (rightfully so) that this was not the time to move to Florida. They say next spring but a lot could happen between now and then. For now I am taking a break. If anything good turns up I will look but I think this fall and winter are about continuing to build my business rather than moving. I have doubled my income from a year ago and am looking to do the same this year.

In addition to one on one coaching for women who are allergic to 9-5, I am also finishing the beta test of the Creative Studios Program (formally known as the Creativity Gym) and am getting ready to seriously market it. Stay tuned.

This fall, I have also offered a Prosperity Group to my clients. This is a value added option that is also helping me get the material I have together for an upcoming workbook. Even though money has been done to death by coaches, other groups and markets are not saturated with it. The truth is that if I liked what was already out there I would use it but none of them feel comprehensive enough to me. Each has a piece of the solution but no one has brought it all together--attraction, consciousness, practical action, learned behavior and emotions.

I am also learning lots about internet business and internet marketing. The most recent is a course on site optimization. I think home based and internet businesses are the solution for many of my clients. The internet piece changes rapidly so I have to keep learning. The truth is that I find it all quite fascinating and like bringing my clients along with me as I learn these things.

You can see I have already bridged the gap from funk to reengaged. Those cycles are so interesting. Sometimes they have a real cause and other times they are just part of the dance. For me this last one had real causes--the house and the republican convention. I was feeling really discouraged by the polls and by Kerry's lack of action. Now I am feeling reenergized there as well (see previous post). He can be quite forceful when he wants to be.

I got harangued by some guy down at the beach because my car is plastered with Kerry stickers. He was a bully just like Bush. I finally just had to walk away. There is no talking to people like that because they just don't get it. The gist of his argument was we need a strong president like Bush. My argument is that George Bush is not strong, he is a bully which by definition makes him extremely weak, insecure and dangerous.

I continue to write letters. I decided early on that the most effective thing I could do was help to get people registered to vote and get them to the polls on November 2. So I am writing letters and sending out registration forms to women in the swing states. Recently it has been single moms.

I would encourage everyone to take some action now to deactivate Mr. Bush so that we can be a safer, stronger and more respected country.

That's it for the first half of September. After the election I expect this blog to be back to coaching, creativity and business. I just can't help myself right now--Bush has got to go!

House Hunting is like Dating

For the past 2 weeks I have been obsessed with buying a house. I had been looking for a while but finally found a log cabin out in the woods, 4 miles from my favorite New England beach. Perfect!

And it is! But the process of getting there has been sheer hell.

Back while I was combing through MLS listings and drving by houses and even going into a few, this process felt like the worst of dating. The meeting, the sizing up, the deciding to continue on or not.

Running through your head the whole time is do I like it, could I love it, do I trust them (the sellers & realtors) and can I ever make a commitment.

And that's just getting to the offer. Now there is the P&S and all the squabbles about wording and timing and whose needs get met first and it goes on and on. At least 4 different versions have been written with the "final" one so watered down that it means nothing except that we agree on the price and the rest will have to wait for one of the lawyers to get back from vacation. Oh and either attorney can nix the whole deal.

This final watered down version was not approved by my attorney. He offered very clear language that honored everyone's requests but the realtor writing up the contract, refused to put it in because it was "legal language" and she couldn't ask her clients to sign it. Being reminded that this was, in fact, a legal document carried no weight at all. And that is as much as I have to say about that except for the fact that if this was dating and this the potential mother-in-law, I would be a streak of light racing as far and as fast from this scene as possible. Fortunately the realtor is only a temporary fixture so I have yet to run but she may yet kill this deal.

And woven through it all is anxiety--am I making the right decision? The sellers watching Hurricane Charley demolish the place they want to move to were also asking themselves, are we making the right decision? Every word you say is monitered because you don't want to say the wrong thing that might make them change their mind.

Then there are the other parties involved, the realtors and the lawyers (so far that's it) who are like the friends sitting on the sidelines evaluating and offering advice, some helpful and some ever so not.

As I said it is just like dating.

My Challenge!

Coaching has never seemed superficial to me. Thomas certainly wasn’t superficial. Coaching for me has been about bringing the core of who I am into life. And coaching has provided many of the answers that therapy did not. (Can’t believe those money issues never got addressed in therapy!)

After years of deep introspection and focus on my personal and spiritual growth, my challenge now is to master being in the world. Being part of the coaching community has shown me many new ways of doing that. That’s what drew me to coaching in the first place. The integration of personal and spiritual development with money and business was compelling. For me that is the richest possible juxtaposition of ideas and mirrors back to me exactly where I am in my own development. And it is challenging to genuinely integrate it.

So much of what I learned came from Thomas. My sense is that Thomas lived from a very deep place within himself and was constantly translating what he knew into terms that people could understand and use. He was a master of that. When I look at things like the Principles of Attraction and the Proficiencies, there is this elegant simplicity that speaks volumes with its depth.

Over the past few months, my yearning for that kind of depth has been palpable. Is it just missing Thomas? Maybe. And maybe it’s that without his leadership, we, as a profession, are in danger of being lulled into the false satisfaction offered by pop psychology and pseudo-spirituality. I am feeling overwhelmed by lingo and superficiality. It’s challenging me to go back to my roots in transpersonal psychology to integrate another level of that into my coaching.

The professional challenge for me is to develop a coaching model for myself (and others?) that incorporates that depth with its practical expression in the world. The truth is I do this every day with every client. I do it in my own life. What I haven’t done is examine it and try to articulate it so that others can understand it easily. What I haven’t done is try to systematize it and I’m not entirely convinced that it can be. I haven’t developed a program around it.

Am I really putting this out in public? Yes I am. What I don’t know is whether any of this touches a chord in other coaches or with coaching clients. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

George Bush has got to go!

This year is a political one for me. Not since 1969 have I cared so much.

The reason? George Bush has got to go! Yesterday, Hilary Clinton said that this administration is "...neither compassionate nor conservative, it is radical." I agree, it is radical in the most fundamental right wing way. In my opinion that means dangerous.

I don't like politics. The Viet Nam War wore me out. It is not how I want to spend my time. But, this man is so dangerous that I fear for the survival of our country if he is allowed to remain in office.

The challenge for me is to do it without getting caught up in the hate. Bush is so easy to hate and when I go to political meetings I find myself shrinking away from the hate in the room while at the same time I am attracted to it. For me that is just as dangerous.

For the past 15 years I have embraced the Sufi path, the path of the heart. A year ago James Twyman asked us to meditate on George Bush with love. I could barely think about him much less open my heart to him. In the end I succeeded, for the moment anyway, and that meditation has stayed with me. The truth of it has stayed with me. That in hating him (anyone for that matter) we give him energy, we stay engaged with him and we attract more hate into our own lives.

So being the vulnerable human being that I am, I find myself walking this tightrope continually in danger of falling into the abyss of hate and impotent rage while struggling to maintain a consciousness that will allow me to hold this man's human soul in my heart while acting to defeat him in November.

In India, Kali, the fearsome goddess who wears a necklace of skulls, is considered to be compassionate because she is a protector against evil. The ancient gargoyles who were placed at the entrances of ancient temples were there to protect the sacred that dwelled within. And I remember Pir Vilayat talking about transforming personal rage into outrage, the energy that can transform social injustice. These are archetypal energies. And it is from this level of consciousness that I am challenged to act.

It occurs to me that my struggle may be more one of embracing the magnitude of that energy--the fierceness of Kali--without personalizing it. The challenge is to keep the heart open and the vision clear while taking effective action. It is, as it often is, setting a limit. I do boundaries very well in my personal life but can I do it as well in the political arena? Therein lies the challenge.

From my first blog-September to December 2003

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Merry Christmas!
I will be off shortly to celebrate with my sister and her family.
I will be back to posting in the new year. 11:32 am

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Last night I happened upon "Be Good, Smile Pretty" a young woman's (Tracy Tragos) story about her search for her father who died in Vietnam when she was 3 months old.

If you have a chance to see it, do. It was fabulous! I cried through most of it and it certainly did bring back memories from that horrible time in our country's history but mostly it was about the need to know a part of herself that she had been missing her whole life. It was beautifully done.

Want to know more? The following websites have info. The TV broadcast was on the PBS show, Independent Lens.
http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/begoodsmilepretty/film.html
http://www.orphansofwar.org/video.html

Unfortunately this is not an isolated story and our country is currently creating more grief stricken families.

I did what I could before the war started by letting my representatives know that I did not support this war and lots of prayer, but I honestly don't know what to do now. I don't know how we get out now without creating an even worse situation than the one we are obstensibly there to correct.

As far as I am concerned the most important thing right now is to get rid of George W. Bush. This man has done so much damage in 3 short years it is terrifying and the thought of him having another 4 years to do more damage....makes my blood run cold. As it is we will be cleaning up his messes for decades to come.

The lastest fiasco is this medicare bill which essentially means that by the time I am ready for medicare (another 12 years) there will be no medicare.

What are they thinking?
1:40 pm

Thursday, November 20, 2003

I think this may be the website of the year http://www.roadtripnation.com

Check it out if you haven't heard about them. They are getting lots of press and PBS exposure.

Below read my e-mail to them after reading their site.

Hi!
I just wanted to say how impressed I am by your endeavors. I have always believed that one's twenties are THE time to explore. Too many times I have seen young people make premature life decisions that they live to regret. As a therapist and now as a coach, I tend to see them when they are in their forties, wondering what went wrong and what to do about it now.

I am also of the opinion that there is not just one path but many and that changing course at any stage of life, is an opportunity to learn and experience something new. Each call to change reflects our continued evolution as unique human beings. Thank you for encouraging everyone to heed that call.

I will be adding a link to your site on my website http://www.allergicto9-5.com and in my blog. Your message is vitally important not just for each individual's personal satisfaction but for the survival and peaceful evolution of our global neighborhood. The world needs lots of creative, visionary and happy people to create real change in the world.

Best of luck to you all. I look forward to whatever's coming next.
Susan Fuller 2:25 pm

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

I would like to encourage readers to leave comments. Makes things more interesting. Now that I am getting site statistics, I know people are reading so feel free to let me know what you think. I love dialogue which is why I try to make my speaking engagements as interactive as possible. My favorite are groups of less than 20 so there can be a real exchange of ideas.

But I digress. A reader e-mailed me personally rather than leaving a comment. The gist was that I should not endorse any political candidate (especially Howard Dean) on this blog because I might chase away potential clients. Her second objection was because Howard Dean is anti-Israel. Interesting! Let me respond to each of these comments in turn.

As far as endorsing a political candidate. I am fine with a potential client disagreeing with my politics. That doesnít bother me in the least because I embrace diversity and welcome an open exchange of ideas in everything I do. Hanging around people who disagree with me, makes me think more deeply about an issue. Sometimes I even change my mind but regardless of the end result when I am challenged in my beliefs it makes me think and look at things differently. In other words diversity is an environment which helps me evolve.

So a client who is equally comfortable with diverse opinions is an ideal client for me whether we agree or not. Likewise if a potential client is not comfortable with such differences then that person would be better off with another coach.

On the other hand, if someone agrees with me then we have a point of resonance upon which to build a relationship. So I would be a good coach for this person if my area of expertise is what they need.

So for me, itís a win-win. Potential clients know exactly what theyíre getting. And for me, by allowing my opinions to be visible I weed out clients I donít really want to work with and attract the clients I do want to work with.

Now as to Howard Dean being anti-Israel and anti-Jewish, I have to ask where did that come from? From the little bit of research I have done it apparently came from a remark about the US needing to be evenhanded with all parties in the conflict. How on earth is that getting spun into anti-Israel?

This is a perfect example of why we all need to go back to the source rather than letting pundits, spin-duds and TV news interpret what is actually being said. When I hear stuff like this and then go to the original speech or article I am rarely able to find in the original what I am being told is there. Itís amazing! And very frightening.

Back to Howard Dean. Here is what he says on his web site (for the full text go to
http://www.deanforamerica.com/site/PageServer?pagename=policy_policy_foreign_mideast).

"To get there, the Palestinian Authority will have to fight terrorism and violence on a consistent basis to create the conditions necessary for a viable peace process. The Israeli government will have to work to improve the living conditions of the Palestinian people and ultimately will have to remove a number of existing settlements. These issues and others will all be elements of a final agreement negotiated by the parties.

Through it all, the United States will maintain its historic special relationship with the state of Israel, providing a guarantee of its long-term defense and security. And the United States will have to take responsibility with its international partners for helping the Palestinians establish a middle-class democratic society in which women fully participate in economic and political decision-making. The international community must support these economic reconstruction efforts which are essential to the long-term success of any agreement between the parties."

Here is another comment from Allen B. MacKenzie's blog

"...once again, the spin machine is raging out of control, and the first casualty has been the truth. What Howard Dean said, in an extemporaneous remark on Israel, was that the US must be "evenhanded" in the Middle Eastern conflict. Hmmm... That doesn't seem too controversial. I'd like to think that our government would be "evenhanded" in everything that it does. Some pundits then took this statement, combined it with the false meme that says that Dean is a raging liberal, and reached the conclusion that Dean was abandoning the United States' special relationship with Israel, a conclusion which is simply false. In fact, while Dean has (rightfully, IMHO) attacked Bush on a number of other issues, Bush and Dean have almost identical views on Israel."

And there is an interesting article at Salon.com (if you are not a subscriber the ad takes 2 seconds) which highlights for me that you can listen to what people are saying about him to serve their own agendas or you can listen to what he is actually saying. BTW this is true in all things not just Howard Deanís campaign. You can listen to rumors and opinions and interpretations or you can get the facts from the source and form your own opinions.

The Salon.com article also pointed out that Howard Deanís wife and children are Jewish. Good point! 2:14 pm

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

I am just back from the Coachville Full Practice Intensive. Inspiring!

If you are in any kind of service business, take this program!!! The next one is in Austin, Texas in December. To check it out click here 6:03 pm

Monday, October 27, 2003

The other night I saw Debbie Reynolds perform (on Lifetime) as part of a concert of women performers. I was so struck by her. I have always liked her in Singin' in the Rain, The Unsinkable Molly Brown and such but I had never identified why. She sang ìTammyî (a song I used to sing with my Dad at the piano) and a ìGood Morniníî duet with some young woman I am sure I was supposed to know but didnít. What struck me from the moment she started singing was how effortless it was, subtle and with ease. By contrast her partner in the duet was straining and her breathing was off. I couldnít even tell when Debbie took a breath it was that even and flawless.

It was a wonderful example of my goal in life which is to stop struggling and succeed with ease, to be in the flow if you will. And in Debbie Reynoldís case, from that ease came a powerful stage presence. Thatís the lesson. When we can get into the flow of our lives and work, success, however we define it, comes easily and enhances our effectness. Struggling just begets more struggling. For myself, I donít have it in me to struggle anymore. Struggling means that something is off and perhaps I need to reevaluate what it is I am trying to do. How about you? Are you struggling or are you in the flow, effort with ease?

That is the definition of flow. Effort with ease. I like that. The term flow has made its way into our vocabulary but was coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi who wrote the book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, in 1991. I never did read the book but the concept caught my attention and that of others. I never really defined it before but that is what it means to me, effort with ease.

The other thing I observed in Debbie Reynolds was the light in her eyes. During one close up in particular, I saw this twinkle in her eye that delighted me because it was the same twinkle that had always been there. The light of her soul shining through in every performance because performing, especially musical comedy, is her passion. I donít need to read a biography or press release to know that. I can read it in her being.

So there is the other lesson. Always, always do those things that you are passionate about. And let that passion be so transparent that nobody needs to ask.That is the path to living joyfully and with ease. It is so much easier to get into that state of flow when our whole being is engaged in our work. In fact, I donít think that flow is possible without being passionate. Trying to do things we donít like doing or forcing ourselves to do things that we are ìsupposedî to be doing means struggle.

So thanks to Debbie Reynolds for the reminder. Teachers and role models appear in the most interesting and unexpected places. Pay attention.

BTW My favorite movie is Mother with Debbie Reynolds and Albert Brooks. It is a classic. My other favorite movie is A Thousand Clowns (appears to be unavailable) with Jason Robards. Now there is a character who is ìallergic to 9-5î and I have always loved him for that.

11:08 pm

Monday, October 27, 2003

11:06 pm

Thursday, October 23, 2003

I am bored with this blog. My intention for writing it is to give you, my reader, a sense of who I am but a travelog is not accomplishing what I want.

This is an old problem. One of the reasons I have always had trouble communicating exactly what I do is not being able to accurately describe the experience of what I do. As a transpersonal psychotherapist I always struggled with differentiating myself from all of the other people who were integrating spirituality into therapy because it all sounded alike. The truth of the matter is that what I did as a therapist was totally different because the spirituality was never an add on. My whole training was a full integration of spirituality with psychological theory. And the whole focus of the therapy was to raises my clients' awareness of who they really are (Self, Soul vs self, ego). As a coach my focus is not to identify who they are but to help them create a life and work that is in full alignment with who they are, a life that is satisfying, meaningful and prosperous and which never compromises on the essential integrity of each person.

I am being interrupted by my 4 year old nephew. It is his birthday today. He thinks the colors in the title bar on Mac OS X documents look like M&M1s.

He just did his letters and numbers on my computer but wanted me to erase them. He thought it was great fun to hold a letter down and watch it appear in line after line across the page. We did a whole page of D1s.

This is one of the great things about being self employed. I packed up my work and brought it with me. Last night I went to see my niece1s gymnastics class and today I am hanging out with my boy on his birthday.

He just gave me a treasure. I asked him what the treasure was and he said it was many things. Gold? Love? Yes all of that and more. He just gave me more treasure. It is lots of jewels and old tea pots. This is so fun!

Til later.

11:30 am

Sunday, October 19, 2003

I am just back from vacation. Here is my ideal vacation. Camping. Near the beach. With the dog. And a box of fiction. My favorite places are the Outer Banks of North Carolina and Rhode Island.

This year it was Rhode Island. Block Island for 2 nights. Blue Dory allows dogs. The accommodations were very nice but expensive and there is no campground on the island. Probably wonít go back unless it is for a day of biking. Found one very lovely beach where I could let the dog run free.

Then 6 nights camping in South County. Hardly anyone there. Spent my days reading in front of a campfire or on the beach and playing with the dog. Ideal as far as I am concerned. Had great weather except for one rainy day and even that was not a hard rain so the fire kept me warm.

I came back feeling very well rested. 8:02 pm

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

I have been posting or at least attempting to. Twice I have written these long posts only to lose them before they are published. Very frustrating.

Last night I was too tired to do anything other than put up the link for the Dean poster.

The long and the short of it is that I do support Howard Dean. His values are in alignment with mine and I am supporting his campaign. Today is the last day of the quarter and your contributions would be greatly appreciated. Contribute Now!

I have since researched his stand on various issues and have listened to him speak but my initial support came from a flash of intuition that was unusually strong. Interpretation is always tricky. Did it mean he will win? Did it mean he will be the Democratic candidate? Or am I just to support him? Don't know but supporting him seems right and personally I think he is going to win the election.

The only issue I don't agree with him on is the death penalty. He did not always support it but changed his mind after Polly Klaus was murdered. I can understand that but don't agree. Basically I think the death penalty is nothing more than legalized murder and that taking a life is not up to any human being no matter how righteous the cause. Besides a lifetime in prison seems to me to be the greater punishment.

I am going to get this up before I lose it again.

More to come. 11:44 am

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

†

2:14 am

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Just wanted to share a comment I posted on a coaching discussion list.

The topic came up in reference to a legal battle in Colorado that is trying to define coaching as a form of psychotherapy.

Thanks Ken for going out on a limb! No verbal stones here.

You said "Coaching IS a form of psychotherapy". Coming from the psychotherapy
persuasion (15 years in practice) and heartily embracing coaching, I would
rephrase that to "Coaching CAN be form of psychotherapy" and "Psychotherapy CAN
be a form of coaching" And despite all of the attempts to differentiate the two, the line
remains and probably will remain blurry.

And I agree that by legal definiton much of what coaches are doing COULD fall under the regulation of mental health laws. Personally I don't want to see that connection made but
the challenge has been long anticipated and will only escalate as psychotherapists in private
practice realize that their coveted *personal growth* market is hiring coaches. I believe this
is going to be happening more and more because coaching works and there is no stigma.

Personally, the distinction I use is that psychotherapy is about healing while coaching is about
accomplishment. Healing includes but is not limited to diagnosable disorders. For me
this is the simplist and most accurate distinction I have been able to come up with and it
is one that potential clients readily understand. Whether legislators understand it is an entirely different question.

A more technical definition for me is that as a coach, I do not work with the transference which is the client's projections/feelings in their relationship to me which provides a laboratory for healing and transforming their own personal and familial relationships. As a therapist I do that all the time but not all therapists do. The laws you cited do not refer to this at all.

On several occasions, I made the case to Thomas (with little success) that we should be looking at the alternative practice laws that are being passed around the country due to the lobbying efforts of The Coalition for Natural Health http://www.naturalhealth.org.

I believe that Minnesota and Rhode Island are the only states that have actually passed a health freedom law but I may be wrong. There are legislative battles going on all over the country. I supported the law in Rhode Island because it allows for the practice of unregulated professions while providing a client bill of rights which is really designed to protect the client.
You can check it out at http://www.rilin.state.ri.us/publiclaws/law02/law02133.htm

The problem with these laws for coaches is that they are totally focused on health care which is a category coaches don't want to be in at all. I do think these laws provide an excellent model for allowing all of the various forms of coaching to be practiced without getting lumped in with the mental health models.

In any event, hold on to your hats. This is going to be a long, hard battle. These things take years. The Minnesota law took 5 years to pass. Getting a law to license Mental Health Counselors in Massachusetts took 7-8 years. The opposition was from social workers and psychologist and it was totally about who had access to the market.

I sincerely hope that the ICF and the IAC are ready to work together on this issue. And that there is an acknowledgment that self regulation is not going to be enough and we are going to have to fight this battle legislatively.
12:44 pm

Saturday, September 13, 2003

Well it has been a busy few days.

My first website went up today. Check it out at allergicto9-5.com

And, as of yesterday, we made the deal for my dad's property. Lots of wheeling and dealing which I must say was rather fun. All that's left now is probate, taxes and lawyer's fees.

The 2 things I have learned from dealing with my dad's illness and now his estate.

#1 Get long term care insurance because it will make all the difference when it comes to assisted living and nursing home care. A lifetime's worth of premiums is less than one year in assisted living. Well worth it.

If you are between 50 and 60 (or your parents are) this is the time to buy. Some financial planners suggest early-mid fifites while others suggest close to 60. In any event, plan for it now.

#2 Unless you have a compelling reason not to, put all of your assets in a Revocable Living Trust.
We did have a compelling reason that would have saved us $2000-$3000/month had he needed to go into a nursing home but I must say this probate process is a royal pain. Time consuming and expensive even in Massachusetts which they say is cheap.

Well, I have learned the lessons for my own estate planning and I am feeling really good about how we (my sister and myself) managed all of this.

Overall we went from having not a clue about his finances to taking them over, we got him into assisted living which was wonderful (Sunrise Assisted Living is the BEST), cleared out his house which included throwing out to do lists from 1977 (no kidding) and have now sold the property. Not bad! Not only are my sister and I still getting along, we are closer than we have ever been.

And I am so ready to get back to my own life. Building a business, watching my niece (5 1/2) and nephew (almost 4) grow, enjoying Heidi (2 1/2 year old Golden Retreiver) and moving to either Central Massachusetts or Rhode Island within the next year or so ( or I may go RVing for a while). Lots to look forward to. 5:51 pm

Thursday, September 11, 2003

My first entry!!!

Just back from a camping trip with my golden retreiver, Heidi. We were at the beach in Rhode Island. Gorgeous!!! Hardly anyone in the campground or on the beach. Hard getting back into work.

Came back to negotiating the sale of my dad's property. Big deal!

And tomorrow my first website goes up. Check it out allergicto9-5.com

Lots of firsts! Very exciting.

Stay tuned. Although linked to my website, this is a place for me to ramble and muse on a variety of subjects which may or may not have anything to do with my coaching business.

12:50 am